


Tears of Pearls

by mohinikapuahi



Series: Crash & Burn [6]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-18
Updated: 2011-07-18
Packaged: 2017-10-21 13:02:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/225472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mohinikapuahi/pseuds/mohinikapuahi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Title: Tears of Pearls<br/>Prompt: H/C prompt - Wild Card<br/>Rating: G<br/>Beta: Alassenya<br/>Warning: Spoilers for Season 1<br/>Summary: Sometimes you need to say goodbye before you can start again.<br/>Authors Notes: Written for HC Bingo on Dreamwidth</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tears of Pearls

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Notes: This is part 6 in my 'Crash and Burn' Alternate Universe. From the first part my timeline differs from what is and will be canon. This AU has been created for my HC Bingo card over at Dreamwidth, and as such will have at least 15 parts.  
> Thank Yous: My eternal thanks go to my beta Alassenya for taking my disjointed ramblings and turning it into a cohesive story that is worth reading.

There were a million things that Steve regretted in his life: things he'd done that had hurt him; things people had done to him that hurt; but nothing - nothing - hurt as much as watching Danny and Grace grieving for his wife and her mother. Whilst he would always regret Rachel’s death personally, her passing didn’t impact on him the way it did his new family. He didn't feel the same sense of loss, the same aching void that Danny did. That was why it was important to him to be there in Jersey with them: to be the support that they needed.

His wound was fine. He wasn't going to be up to hand-to-hand combat for a little while yet, but he could certainly manage a plane trip and a couple of small bags. Even Danny had had to concede that in the end, though he'd protested right up to the point of boarding the plane. After that he'd just folded in on himself and told him he didn’t care, but Steve knew his partner too well to believe him. Danny was just exhausted, and too used to fighting his battles on his own. He didn't have to do that any more - he didn't have to be alone any more - and Steve was going to stay right beside him until he realised it.

Danny seemed to come back into himself once they reached his parent's house. His parents had insisted that they stay with them and had even put them in a room in the basement that had apparently been Danny’s when he had been a teenager. Now it was a guest room complete with a double bed (and Steve hadn’t had the heart to tell them wasn’t what they quite needed) and plain but good furniture. The first thing they had seen on entering, however, had been the crib, ready for the baby, and it had brought tears to their eyes.

Steve had to hand it to the Williams family: they protected their own. When they had arrived at Danny’s parents’ home, they were friendly but cool, until soon after Danny had left the room to take a phone call. His parents had seized upon the opportunity to more or less inquire if his intentions towards their first born were honourable. His answers must have met with their approval because since Danny had returned to the room it was like he had always been part of their loving family. When he and Danny had arrived at Rachel’s house, with Maureen and Daniel Snr in tow, the hostility had hit them like a shockwave.

Rachel’s family ’s open hostility towards him was a palpable being in the room with them, but the Williams clan had made it clear that he was more welcome than they were and would be treated accordingly. Really the military could learn a thing or two from them.

One tiny thing had changed his life, forever. When they collected the children, Gracie - her eyes brimming with tears - had hugged her father, clinging to him like a limpet while Danny stroked her hair. She'd given a Steve a watery smile, but it was clear that she only wanted her Daddy to hold her for the moment, and he could understand that completely.

Grace's unwillingness to let go of Danny, however, left Steve empty-handed when the nanny came in, carrying with a blue-wrapped bundle. Danny had looked at him over Grace's head, his eyes filled with pain, and Steve had had no choice but to accept it.

Matthew was tiny. His head - covered in tufts of strawberry-blond hair - fitted in Steve's palm, and his feet barely reached the crook of Steve's elbow. It was impossible that something so small and fragile could survive, but he seemed healthy enough. He looked up at Steve, his blue eyes wide open, his pink lips puckered and his tongue poking between them, making sucking motions. His little hands flailed at the air, reaching for who knew what, and Steve caught them in his free hand, his eyes glazing as Matthew's hand - barely bigger than his fingertip - grasped his finger and pulled it towards his mouth.

Steve was in awe. He could feel his heart melting as he and Matthew gazed into each other's eyes. This little person had no defences - he depended on him and Danny to keep him safe, and Steve was going to make sure he did just that.

Almost sure he would embarrass himself with emotion looked quickly away, and straight into Danny’s eyes. Where he could usually expect mocking from Danny for his inability to deal with emotion, all he saw there was understanding. Danny had been here, he knew exactly what Steve was feeling.

Since that moment, Matthew had barely been more than two feet from Steve’s arms. The first day was ‘interesting’. Maureen had shown amazing patience, teaching him how to feed and burp him, how to change him, the best way hold on to his tiny wriggling body when he bathed him and how to dress him. But the real lessons came from Matthew himself. It didn’t take long for Steve to learn that the baby liked to be held deep in the crook of Steve’s arm while he was taking his bottle, safe and protected from the world, or that he slept best when Steve laid him against his chest, his heartbeat lulling the baby to sleep, or that before bed he liked to lie on their bed and watch Steve with those big blue eyes and listen as he told him all about Hawaii.

Today Steve stood a little apart from Danny at Rachel’s funeral. He wore his uniform as a mark of respect, and also held Matthew, allowing him to snuggle close to his chest, the soft blanket that wrapped him protecting his face from Steve’s medals. The gravesite was surrounded by mourners, her closest friends from Hawaii, Stan Edwards, several of her family from England, and a large number of Danny’s family. It didn’t surprise him that Rachel had a lot of friends; she was a lovely woman, it was just that her fear for Danny tended to make her irrational sometimes. She didn’t deserve to have died.

At the conclusion of the service, Steve stood close by as Danny accepted the condolences of those who had attended, offering mute support to his partner and trying not to glower at all the people who shuffled by, intent on having a few words with the grieving husband. Grace was still clinging to her father, her eyes puffy and her cheeks streaked with tears and dirt There was nothing that Steve wanted more than to take her pain away, but he knew from his own experience that nothing eased that deep a loss. He consoled himself with looking at Matthew, who had slept through the entire service, and promising himself that he would get his family away from this place and back to Hawaii as soon as he could.

After several minutes more, people started to move away, back to their cars. The formal wake was at Rachel's house, but Steve could see that Danny was exhausted, and Grace needed some relief from the emotional battering she'd had this morning. Matthew would wake up soon and need feeding, too, and although they had brought a bag of supplies with them, he'd prefer to feed and change him at home, where they could relax.

He had a quiet word with Maureen, who agreed completely that Danny and Grace needed a break, and accepted Mr Williams' car keys with gratitude.

"Don't worry, Steve," said Maureen. "We'll handle it. You get Danny and Grace home and we'll explain to everyone that he's overcome with grief." She sighed. "It isn't too far from the truth, either."

"Would you like me to come and pick you up?"

"No, we can get a cab, it's not that far. We won't stay all that long anyway."

Steve thanked her and steered Danny and Grace over to the car. Danny didn't even protest but busied himself getting Grace belted in while Steve secured the baby capsule.

As soon as they arrived back at the Williams', Danny retreated to their room in the basement with Grace. Steve busied himself preparing formula for Matthew, who was watching him solemnly from the baby capsule, giving every appearance of listening intently to Steve's nonsensical monologue on the beneficial effects of Hawaiian sun and surf on a grieving family.

When the bottle was ready, Steve took Matthew from the capsule snuggled him firmly with one arm and pressed the teat to his lips. Matthew suckled hungrily, concentration furrowing his brow, and his fingers grasping Steve's shirt. As soon as he'd been burped he fell asleep, and Steve returned him to the crook of his arm, his fingertips tracing Matthew's lips and ears and hair.

Carrying the baby down the steps to the basement, he paused briefly at the door of their room. The sight made his eyes sting: Danny and Grace lay on their bed, both sound asleep, Danny in the middle of the bed with Grace curled up next to him. Danny had grabbed a crocheted baby blanket from the crib to cover Grace's legs. They both looked exhausted.

Steve moved silently around the room, collecting the things he needed. He quickly changed Matthew’s diaper and baby suit, wrapped him in another soft blanket and placed him gently in the crib. He sat there, rubbing Matthew's belly, until he was sure that the baby was sound asleep again.

He felt suddenly drained, as if he’d aged five years in the last two weeks, and realised he'd been treating the funeral as a mission. Well in a way it had been, and now it was over and all he had to do was get his family home, where they could heal. He'd book the flights tomorrow.

He slipped the tie from around his neck and toed his shoes off, then slid onto the bed, moulding his form around Danny's. He smiled as his partner relaxed against him, and then slid an arm over Danny's waist and Grace's shoulder. They were all here, and all safe for the time being, and that meant that he could sleep too.


End file.
